Shifts

 

Sometimes one person’s career choice can reshape the lives of an entire family. China has launched several talent recruitment programs since the 1990s to boost its scientific research and strengthen its international competitiveness. The candidates with over three-year overseas experience and qualified research results have the potential to be granted a prestigious job and get impressive research funding and living stipend from the government.  Inspired by these programs, thousands of candidates rush overseas to further polish themselves. This process is called overseas gilding; with this golden cover, the candidates will be more likely to meet the requirements of these programs. Among them, my husband decided to come to the United States, which is recognized as having the most outstanding research institutes in the world in the eyes of Chinese professionals, to get himself gilded. His decision to pursue his academic goal in Chicago turned out to have a huge impact on our whole family.

Before my family came to Chicago, I had struggled for a long time before I was mentally prepared. I had to quit my decent job. I worked at a university as a Human Resources professional, which was a high reputation job especially for women in China. Furthermore, my friends and colleagues around me always tried to convince me that it was unfair and unwise for a woman to sacrifice her job to satisfy her husband’s future. Some experienced friends just shared their wisdom that men were no more reliable than jobs. I also entangled with the uncertainty of the future. Polices in China could change overnight. No one could guarantee us that when we went back, the policy would still be there to benefit us. What was worse, I would exceed the age of thirty-five when we returned to China, which meant it would be impossible for me to get a position within a government-affiliated institution because thirty-five is the cut-off rule in China. 

Since my family moved to Chicago, our domestic routine has changed. I have become a dutiful housewife. When we lived in China, I seldom did home chores because my mother-in -law undertook almost all of them. Therefore, facing all the chores at home in Chicago, I have spent a long time getting used to them. I have learned how to cook different cuisines and how to schedule my housework efficiently. Due to this, my fingers have thickened, and my wrinkles have deepened. I am no longer an elegant office lady with coffee in hand. Almost surprisingly, my husband has become a responsible father and a considerate husband. My husband was so busy with his work in China that he had no time to accompany my kid or me. Sometimes, I just joked that I had a widowed marriage. However, in his new job in Chicago, overtime work is not advocated, so he has more down time. He has started to take care of our son by reading books to him, playing games with him, and hanging out with him independently. He has also started helping me do the chores at home and encourages me to further my study in the United States which might benefit me in the future. 

Now that our family has been living in Chicago for more than two years, I cherish the opportunity to live here very much. I enrolled in a college in Chicago even though I graduated ten years ago in China. Encouraged by my husband, I stepped out of my home and got an admission to a college, which turned out to be the best decision I had ever made. I am very grateful for the opportunity to study in Chicago, and very impressed by the creativity in the classroom and the loveliness of my classmates. My eyes are getting broadened, and my mind is getting refreshed. Standing on a broader world stage, I am like a frog jumping out of a well-sized sky, meeting people from almost all over the world. I communicate with them, get better understanding about their histories, and have perception shifts in my mind. 

I am not sure if all the Chinese candidates could benefit from the talent recruitment programs after their overseas gilding. However, I do believe the lives of our entire family have been reshaped by my husband’s decision to gild himself in Chicago, which has turned out to be a huge treasure to our family. Even though I worried a lot before we moved to Chicago, we have gotten more family time and better understanding the meaning of family. In addition, we could blend in the local society and experience the creativity and diversity here. My experience in Chicago as well as my new values about life and the world have already steeled me into a fresh person. All these shifts that have happened to my life make me no longer fear of the uncertain future and just enjoy the moment.